Phebe Louise

A couple of weeks ago I wrote about my efforts in trying to adopt my daughter from Haiti. Once I had gotten to the part in the story of finding Phebe I wanted to post some pictures. I was saddened to find out that all of the pictures of Phebe in Haiti have been lost. I’ve been so upset about it; I didn’t want to finish her story without them. A friend of mine told me that I need to be thankful I have Phebe and that the pictures are just material items. She was right.

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Monday morning came and we decided that we needed to get a few things for Weedlyn in case her grandpa decided I could keep her. Shopping in Haiti is nothing like running into town to the local Wal-Mart. There are people everywhere and the traffic is crazy. Horns honking, people yelling. Everything seems very chaotic. Elia would hold my hand as we walked along in case she needed to pull me out of the way of a speeding vehicle. It was really something. We were looking for formula and diapers and maybe a couple of outfits. We went to at least a half a dozen stores but weren't able to find any of those items. We went back to Elia’s house and Linda dropped the baby off and said her dad had not made it in yet. Elia went back into town to see what she could find.

Little Weedlyn had quite a cough. I felt sorry for her as she would try to catch her breath after a coughing attack. Elia came back with a bottle, a little red dress and cough medicine. She thought when I said formula I meant medicine. So we were quite worried knowing that if I could take this baby up the mountain the next day we had nothing to feed her. We could have formula brought in from America but it would take a week or two. Linda stopped by a few more times to nurse Weedlyn and then she would leave.

That evening a lot of Elia’s family came to visit. We were all sitting behind the house in the cool of the evening talking and laughing. Well, they were talking and laughing. I had no idea what was being said most of the time. Once in awhile I would have Rebecca translate for me, but I always felt bad that she had to do that. After awhile a man came and sat down and joined in on the conversation. I asked who he was but Rebecca didn’t know. She soon figured out it was the baby’s grandpa. She said that they were telling him about me wanting to adopt Weedlyn. I sat there holding this little baby girl pleading with the Lord that this would be His will. The grandpa asked Linda why she hadn’t given me the baby already. They talked for a few minutes and soon Rebecca turned to me, smiled, and said, “You’ve got yourself a baby.” Everyone started clapping and laughing. I just stared at this precious little baby and cried. I remember saying, “Merci! Merci! Merci beaucoup!” Rebecca asked me what I was going to name her. I had a name all ready for her. Phebe Louise.

When everyone left that night I went to hand Phebe to her mother so she could feed her through the night. Linda shook her head and said, “She’s your baby now.” I was a bit shocked but decided I better figure out what I was going to do. All we had to feed her was sugar water. By the next morning she was quite hungry and everyone in the neighborhood knew about it. Phebe had quite a pair of lungs on her. Just as the sun was coming up Linda knocked on the door wanting to feed her…praise the Lord! She held her and fed her all that morning. It was then time to meet Brother Wall at the airport. So we hopped on a Tap Tap and headed to the airport. Elia and Rebecca climbed in the bed of this little pickup with about 15 Haitians. They decided to put me in the cab because I had the baby. I sat in this little tiny cab with three Haitian men who had never heard of deodorant. Ahhhh the sweet smells of Haiti. When we finally made it to Brother Wall we were thrilled. He…not so much. I think he was a bit shocked about the baby. He had already been in town to do the shopping so he was not about to go back and look for formula. He ended up needing something so we were able to look in a few more stores, but found nothing. We finally headed up the mountain and contacted Mrs. Wall to tell her about the baby. She had evaporated milk at the house and we diluted that until we were able to find some formula.

The first night was very difficult. Phebe’s cough had gotten much worse. We fixed a bed for her in an old trunk. She looked so precious as she fell asleep. It didn’t last long. Every time I would lie her down she would start to cough. The coughing was so bad she couldn’t catch her breath. Mrs. Wall came running in the room the first time this happened and was able to get her breathing again. I finally ended up sleeping in a chair for a couple of nights holding her upright so she could breathe.

I’m amazed how God allowed me to find Phebe. Out of all the thousands of children He directed me to her. I have wondered many times how it all came together so beautifully. It’s only by His grace! Thank you Lord for giving me such a beautiful daughter and may I love her as you love me!

Phebe a few weeks after I found her...

I love to hear her laugh...
Phebe and me...
Phebe and her Grandpa...

Finding Phebe

I know I need to finish writing about Uriah’s last day, but I can’t seem to get myself to do that. So instead I thought I would write about another important day in my life.

When I was 22 years old I was able to go and spend a summer with the Walls, a missionary family in Haiti. I had been there the year before with my family and fell in love with the country. Before I left that summer my mom suggested that I should try to adopt a baby while I was there. I passed this on to the Walls, and they were very willing to help me in my endeavors. The Walls had been in Haiti for close to 20 years. Their two youngest daughters, Dorothy and Rebecca, were still there with them. Rebecca and I really hit it off. We had such a great time working with Mrs. Wall in the clinic, teaching an English class, and teaching a Bible class for the children. So many people would come in to the clinic with such serious medical problems and poor Mrs. Wall didn’t have much to work with, but always seemed to come up with something. Many of the mothers that came would hand their babies to me and ask me to take them. My dad had informed me, before I left, that if I was going to adopt I couldn’t adopt a boy. I really wanted a son, but knew my father knew best. Every baby that was handed to me was a boy. I kept praying that the Lord would help me find the baby He wanted for me.

Rebecca was 17 years old and was starting to miss her nanny, Elia, whom she had grown up with. Elia lived in Cap Haitian, about a four-hour drive away. Before I arrived Rebecca had asked her dad if she could go visit Elia and he had told her no. Once I arrived she had her mom ask if Rebecca and myself could go visit so that I could see what it was like to live in the “city.” He again said no. Because she figured he wouldn’t tell me ‘no’ she had me ask him some time later. He told me we could go but not right now. Week after week went by and Rebecca and I were beginning to think he would never let us go. After I had been there for six weeks he came to us one Saturday evening and said we would be traveling to Cap Haitian the next day to go to church, and that Rebecca and I would be able to stay with Elia until Tuesday when he came back to meet the plane for supplies. To be quite honest we were a bit upset. We had hoped to stay down there for a week or two, so two days didn’t seem like much.

Now that I look back I can see that he was worried. There was much unrest in Haiti. In fact, only a few months later all Americans were forced to leave the country because it wasn’t safe for them to be there. The Haitians were not happy about many things and decided killing the Americans was the answer. At the time I knew that it was a bit dangerous but really didn’t have any idea how much danger we were really in.

When we arrived to Elia’s house after church we had dinner and then Bro. and Mrs. Wall headed back up the mountain. We sat with Elia and planned out the next two days. That evening Rebecca and I wanted to go to the English church. She said that should be ok. On Monday we planned on going to hospitals and orphanages to see if I could find a baby girl. Then Tuesday morning we would head out to the airport to meet Rebecca’s dad. We were about to get ready for church when Elia informed us that she had changed her mind because she didn’t feel we would be safe. Rebecca and I begged her to change her mind. In the middle of our pleading we heard gunshots. She said, “See…it just isn’t safe here after dark.” We asked her what we were going to do. We didn’t want to just sit in her house too scared to go anywhere. So she said she thought it would be safe to walk down the street to her sister’s house and visit with them. I have to admit I wasn’t too happy about this. I only spoke English so the only people I could talk with were Rebecca and Elia. I had longed to go the English church so that I could sing songs and hear a sermon in a language that I spoke.

We headed out for her sister’s house. It was such a nice evening. It was no longer scorching hot outside and there were kids running around, pointing and laughing at us. We stood in front of Jacquelyn’s house and chatted and played with the kiddos. We went in the house because the sun was going down and it wasn’t safe. It was dark inside, but as we entered I could see that the one room had its walls covered with magazine pages. Rebecca explained that this was their wallpaper. There was a dark hallway that led to the back door. Along the wall was a cot that Elia told Rebecca and I to sit on. She stepped out the back door and we sat and stared at the wall in front of us and attempted to read the Haitian magazine pages. I could hear everyone talking in Creole in the back yard. It sounded like there were 4 or 5 people out there. I asked Rebecca what they were talking about. She said they were talking about me wanting to adopt. She said, “Wait a minute…someone just said there is a baby out there with them.” I stood up to peek out the door. There were a handful of people sitting on the ground and in the middle of their little circle was an old stained mattress. It looked like one from an old pullout couch. In the center of this grubby mattress was a little baby.

I asked Rebecca to see if they would let me hold the baby. They said I could but I could tell there was a problem. Rebecca informed me that they were afraid the baby would wet on me since they didn’t have a diaper. The baby was naked with a very thin peach colored bath towel that had been ripped in two wrapped around her bottom. I told them I wouldn’t die if she wet on me. They thought that was funny and handed the baby over. I had to peak under the towel to see if it was a boy or a girl. It was a little girl. She was so cute. She looked up at me with her almost black eyes. I asked for her name. It was Weedlyn. I started to talk and coo to little Weedlyn and she started to smile and coo right back. She had big ole dimples in her cheeks. I thought she looked to be about 4-6 weeks old. I have no recollection of how long I sat playing with Weedlyn, but I was sad when it was time to head back to Elia’s house. The mother of the baby, Linda, said if I wanted I could take Weedlyn with me and she would pick her up later. We decided to do just that. Linda came and got her quite a few hours later, and poor little Weedlyn was getting quite hungry.

After Linda left Elia told us that Linda was considering giving Weedlyn to me. I couldn’t believe it. I started asking all kinds of questions. I found out that Weedlyn was actually three months old and that Linda had just arrived in Cap Haitian from the mountains to let her family see the baby. Linda was only 15 years old. Her father was coming into the city the next day and Linda had to get his permission before she could say for sure. I remember going to bed that night praying that this would be God’s will, and that little Weedlyn would be mine.