I have to vent.
I’m tired.
I’m tired of not getting answers.
I’m tired of people not caring.
I’m tired of my poor daughter being in pain.
I’m tired of the medical field not doing anything to change this.
What do I need to do?
With whom do I need to talk?
I will not give up.
I will find a way to help her get better.
Tonight my friend and neighbor stopped by to give me a gift. I also babysit for her two days a week. She is a nurse at the hospital Phebe was in this last week. She worked Thursday and would stop by Phebe’s room to check on her, and then would text me to let me know how Phebe was doing. Adrienne is an absolute angel. She knew I couldn’t get up to see Phebe so she wanted to keep me informed. After she left this evening Phebe said, “I know dat voice. She da nice lady.”
I said, “Yes, Adrienne IS very nice. We love her.”
Phebe replied, “She da only one who nice to me when you not there in hopital.”
My daughter has the mind of a 2 year old. Yes, she is in the body of an 18 year old, but that doesn’t change the fact that her mind isn’t. Can someone please explain to me why you wouldn’t treat her kindly? Three of the four days she was there she couldn’t even lift her head. It wasn’t until the last day that she was able to sit up and start talking again. So why not just treat her kindly? She wasn’t hurting anyone. She wasn’t being abusive. She wasn’t swearing or throwing things. She just had a hard time moving and couldn’t talk clearly.
She has been in pain for months. Her blood clots very strangely. Her tongue looks like white fur. She is now getting blisters all over her body for the second time. These blisters are huge and VERY painful. She can only swallow liquids and struggles with that. Sometimes when her skin gets wet it falls off. If she has a cut on her body it won’t heal or it takes months to heal. The doctors tell me there’s nothing wrong with her. It’s all in her head. The last time she was covered with blisters the doctor told me she was burning herself. Really???
I want to go to one of these doctors’ homes with my daughter and drop her off. I’ll pin a note to her saying to please return her when she is whole. I have been trying for 8 months to fix her and I am failing big time.
It isn’t fair.
It isn’t right.
The saddest part in all of this is that I adopted her from Haiti in hopes of making her life better. I feel like she would have been better off never coming to America.
I feel like I have failed her.
I feel like an awful mom.
This all needs to change and now!
Someone please help me help my daughter.
I was recently given the opportunity to review Heaven is for Real for Kids. This is a very good book. I had already read the adult version and couldn’t wait to get my hands on this one. This book is written as if little Colton is telling the story. He is very clear and excited about what he remembers from his visit to heaven.I wanted this book for my daughter. She is 18 years old but has regressed back to a small child. Heaven and God really fascinate her right now so when I showed her this book she was thrilled. I read it to her and all throughout the book she would point things out or ask a question. She learned many new things from this book. At the end of the book there is a FAQ section that answered a lot of her questions. I personally loved the art work in the book, but she didn’t care for it. She said she would rather see things drawn more clearly.
I also loved the book…probably just as much as my daughter. As a mother I think it is very important to show our children how wonderful heaven will be. So many times my children have said that heaven sounds boring and they aren’t sure they will enjoy it once they get there. After reading this book I highly doubt that will be the case!
I received a copy of “Heaven is for Real for Kids” from Booksneeze.com
Today I will write about something that many people will attempt to judge. I really truly couldn’t care less. Judge away my friends…oh wait…If you’re judging you are no friend of mine!
I am sooooooooooooooo proud of my son Abner. I MUST tell as many people as possible. He has always had a special place in my heart. I had decided to abort him when I found out I was pregnant with him, but at the last minute changed my mind. He is the first person I have ever met that is a blood relative of mine. He is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, he causes me to sigh and holler many times throughout the day. He also has made me laugh every day since he has been born. He is only 12 years old, but he has saved the lives of 3 different people as of today. So often I hear people ask what their purpose in life might be. This is a question Abner will never need to ask himself!
So this is where you will really have an opportunity to judge…ready?
When Abner was a baby I went through a very deep depression. I was so depressed I couldn’t think of a single solitary reason in the world to live any longer. I planned how I would end my life many times. When he was barely 2 I had decided that day was the last day I would be on this earth. I put him and his 8 year old sister to bed. I waited until about 3 o’clock in the morning and I went to the kitchen and found one of my favorite bowls. I then went and got every pill in the house. I poured those pills quietly into the bowl. Then I went and filled a glass full of ice water. I walked down the hall and checked to make sure both kids were still sound asleep. ..they were. I then went to the kitchen and told myself this was the best thing for everyone. I took a handful of pills and grabbed the water. I then heard a sound behind me. It was Abner. He said, “Momma what doing?”
I said, “Nothing Honey…why are you up? You are supposed to be sleeping. Come on, let momma tuck you back into your bed.”
He said, “Momma, I not gonna sleep in my bed…I sleep in momma’s bed.”
“Abner Joseph, you WILL sleep in your bed. Now get moving!”
“NO!”
Now let me explain a little something here. I have NEVER allowed my children to tell me “no.” He knew this was cause for a spanking. “Abner, Mommy is not kidding…GO!”
“NO!”
So I caved. I crawled into my bed with my little boy and fell asleep. My plan was to wait until he was asleep and go and finish what I had started. I never woke up until my daughter woke me up so she could go to school the following morning. I must now admit that I was very angry with Abner, but soon was very grateful! That little boy saved my life. He has never one time since that night told me “no” again. :o)
When Abner was 5 we went as a family to some friend’s house to go swimming and have a cookout. Abner quickly went down to the pool. There were a few other families there, and one that had a little boy about 8 years old. The two boys were all alone. The 8 year old was in the pool and Abner was walking around the pool. I looked down to check on Abner and noticed the other boy was drowning. I screamed, “He’s drowning!” Two of the men started running down the steps of the deck to get to the pool. Abner turned and walked to grab the pool skimmer. He went down the steps on the deep end of the pool and held the skimmer out to the boy and pulled him to the edge of the pool. He had saved the boy before the adults had even reached the pool. He was so calm and acted as if he had taken some sort of lifeguard training in preschool. I was so proud of him!
Today he did it again. My daughter Phebe has had some odd and very strange problems this year. As of late, she sometimes doesn’t know who she is or who any of us are. Today was one of those days. She woke from a nap not having a clue who any of us were. She somehow got outside even though we generally lock the house down. I did everything I could think of to get her in the house. I finally called for Abner and had him go hide behind a tree so that if she darted towards the busy road he could grab her. Praise the Lord I thought of this. It wasn’t 10 minutes later and she was running. I screamed for Abner to tackle her. She was running as fast as she could into the road completely unaware there was a car going at least 55 miles per hour less than a quarter block from her. He got her down only to have her get free and start running again. I looked and there was another car coming from the other direction going even faster. I knew she was going to die. I screamed, “ABNER YOU HAVE TO TACKLE HER!” I was running but felt as if I was running in slow motion. He tried to grab her shirt and missed. I heard him let out this sound of fear and defeat. He also knew his sister was going to die in about 4 seconds. I screamed “ABNER PLEASE!” it was as if his speed almost doubled and he was suddenly on top of her. I soon was on top of both of them. It took us another hour to convince her to go in the house, but Abner had done it yet again.
I will never ever ever be able to tell Abner how much I love him, nor how proud I am of him. I had planned on having an abortion when I found out I was pregnant with him. Can you imagine?
Thank you Lord for your hand of protection and for giving me a son that I needed more than I even realized!
Yes he is walking on the ceiling.
I am sooooooooooooooo proud of my son Abner. I MUST tell as many people as possible. He has always had a special place in my heart. I had decided to abort him when I found out I was pregnant with him, but at the last minute changed my mind. He is the first person I have ever met that is a blood relative of mine. He is not perfect by any stretch of the imagination. In fact, he causes me to sigh and holler many times throughout the day. He also has made me laugh every day since he has been born. He is only 12 years old, but he has saved the lives of 3 different people as of today. So often I hear people ask what their purpose in life might be. This is a question Abner will never need to ask himself!
So this is where you will really have an opportunity to judge…ready?
When Abner was a baby I went through a very deep depression. I was so depressed I couldn’t think of a single solitary reason in the world to live any longer. I planned how I would end my life many times. When he was barely 2 I had decided that day was the last day I would be on this earth. I put him and his 8 year old sister to bed. I waited until about 3 o’clock in the morning and I went to the kitchen and found one of my favorite bowls. I then went and got every pill in the house. I poured those pills quietly into the bowl. Then I went and filled a glass full of ice water. I walked down the hall and checked to make sure both kids were still sound asleep. ..they were. I then went to the kitchen and told myself this was the best thing for everyone. I took a handful of pills and grabbed the water. I then heard a sound behind me. It was Abner. He said, “Momma what doing?”
I said, “Nothing Honey…why are you up? You are supposed to be sleeping. Come on, let momma tuck you back into your bed.”
He said, “Momma, I not gonna sleep in my bed…I sleep in momma’s bed.”
“Abner Joseph, you WILL sleep in your bed. Now get moving!”
“NO!”
Now let me explain a little something here. I have NEVER allowed my children to tell me “no.” He knew this was cause for a spanking. “Abner, Mommy is not kidding…GO!”
“NO!”
So I caved. I crawled into my bed with my little boy and fell asleep. My plan was to wait until he was asleep and go and finish what I had started. I never woke up until my daughter woke me up so she could go to school the following morning. I must now admit that I was very angry with Abner, but soon was very grateful! That little boy saved my life. He has never one time since that night told me “no” again. :o)
When Abner was 5 we went as a family to some friend’s house to go swimming and have a cookout. Abner quickly went down to the pool. There were a few other families there, and one that had a little boy about 8 years old. The two boys were all alone. The 8 year old was in the pool and Abner was walking around the pool. I looked down to check on Abner and noticed the other boy was drowning. I screamed, “He’s drowning!” Two of the men started running down the steps of the deck to get to the pool. Abner turned and walked to grab the pool skimmer. He went down the steps on the deep end of the pool and held the skimmer out to the boy and pulled him to the edge of the pool. He had saved the boy before the adults had even reached the pool. He was so calm and acted as if he had taken some sort of lifeguard training in preschool. I was so proud of him!
Today he did it again. My daughter Phebe has had some odd and very strange problems this year. As of late, she sometimes doesn’t know who she is or who any of us are. Today was one of those days. She woke from a nap not having a clue who any of us were. She somehow got outside even though we generally lock the house down. I did everything I could think of to get her in the house. I finally called for Abner and had him go hide behind a tree so that if she darted towards the busy road he could grab her. Praise the Lord I thought of this. It wasn’t 10 minutes later and she was running. I screamed for Abner to tackle her. She was running as fast as she could into the road completely unaware there was a car going at least 55 miles per hour less than a quarter block from her. He got her down only to have her get free and start running again. I looked and there was another car coming from the other direction going even faster. I knew she was going to die. I screamed, “ABNER YOU HAVE TO TACKLE HER!” I was running but felt as if I was running in slow motion. He tried to grab her shirt and missed. I heard him let out this sound of fear and defeat. He also knew his sister was going to die in about 4 seconds. I screamed “ABNER PLEASE!” it was as if his speed almost doubled and he was suddenly on top of her. I soon was on top of both of them. It took us another hour to convince her to go in the house, but Abner had done it yet again.
I will never ever ever be able to tell Abner how much I love him, nor how proud I am of him. I had planned on having an abortion when I found out I was pregnant with him. Can you imagine?
Thank you Lord for your hand of protection and for giving me a son that I needed more than I even realized!
Yes he is walking on the ceiling.Being a goof...as usual!
Yes he got in trouble for this!
Outside my window…is a beautiful quiet darkness.I am thinking…that heaven seems sweeter and sweeter each day.
I am thankful...for the Indian summer we’ve been enjoying.
From the kitchen...was homemade split pea soup and yeast rolls.
I am wearing...a heavy heart.
I am remembering...what my dad’s voice sounded like.
I am going...to visit my dad in the hospital tomorrow. He just suffered a stroke.
I am praying…my younger siblings as they hold down the fort.
On my mind…is how I wish I would have called my dad Saturday.
I am hearing...the whirl of the fan in the window.
Around the house...are lots of pieces of Cheerios.
Noticing that….I love my life!
Pondering these words…"I love you more”
One of my favorite things...the beautiful colors God gives us in the fall.
A picture thought…I received this card in the mail from my dad 2 days before his stroke. It’s probably the last thing he wrote me in his old handwriting.
Before reading One Call Away I must admit that I had never heard of Brenda Warner. Now that I have read the book I’m happy to say that I feel that I’ve gotten to know her and am quite happy about that. What a wonderful example for any Christian lady to follow. She wasn’t perfect, but she sure was faithful.
I started reading this book thinking about how much I wish I would have picked a different book to read. After reading for about 30 seconds I had a complete change of mind. I could not put the book down. I read when I should have been working, cooking, cleaning, and even sleeping. Brenda Warner had quite an eventful life…more often bad than good. She starts off by explaining her life from childhood. There were many times while reading about this time of her life that I had to wipe away tears. The book goes into her adult life and my tears continued to slide down my face.
It was amazing to watch her as she stayed the course no matter what life threw at her. Let me say here that life wasn’t kind in its throwing. Brenda really had me evaluating how I responded to hardships and hurts in my life. I wish I could say that I was as faithful and strong as she was, but sadly I have not been.
If you have ever struggled with forgiveness, pre-marital sex, abuse, financial woes, divorce, what you believe, betrayal, or loss. This book is the book for you. Brenda wasn’t perfect in all of her choices, but no one is. She was very honest in how she lived her life…right or wrong. I have to admit that I didn’t enjoy the book as much after she became a millionaire. Maybe it was just a jealous streak in me, but it was difficult for me to hear her complain about having too much money.
Even though life hasn’t always been easy for me I feel like it’s been a cake walk when compared to Brenda Warner. I hope that after reading this book I’ll be more thankful for what I have and encouraged to be a faithful Christian no matter how difficult life gets.
I received a copy of “One Call Away” from Booksneeze.com
Outside my window…it’s dark but warm. The lawn is freshly cut by my sick hubby (poor guy).I am thinking…that it’s not fair that when I got sick the rest of the family got sick. When do I get to get babied? ;o)
I am thankful...that my hubby and I are on the mend from this silly cold.
From the kitchen...was homemade chicken noodle soup. I’m sure that’s what cured us! Well, that and the 5 million vitamin C tablets my hubby had us take.
I am wearing...an achiness in my bones as well as my spirit.
I am remembering...that I am here to bring honor and glory to Him.
I am going...to lose it if things don’t start turning around for my daughter.
I am praying…for so many hurts of sweet people that I love.
On my mind…is how much longer before my family can enjoy an abundant life. Not financially mind you, but the abundant life in John 10:10.
I am reading: A Cry for Justice: Overcome anger, reject bitterness and trust in JESUS who will fight for you. By: Shelly Hundly
I am hearing...a television show that Jesse and Abner are watching, and Asher pretending to be a truck.
Around the house...are my favorite decorations…FALL!
Noticing that….they weren’t lying when they said it was more difficult to lose weight after 40.
Pondering these words…You is good…you is kind…you is important.
One of my favorite things...is seeing Asher smile at me when he knows he’s being naughty.
A picture thought… Photo shoot with Asher :o) Phebe LOVES to take pictures!!!
Tuckered him right out!
Outside my window…there is a drizzle of rain.
I am thinking…about a stop sign. I’ve decided every time my mind goes to something negative that I will think of a stop sign and then I will write out my thoughts at a later time.
I am thankful...that my father-in-law and mother-in-law raised such a wonderful son.
I am thinking…about a stop sign. I’ve decided every time my mind goes to something negative that I will think of a stop sign and then I will write out my thoughts at a later time.
I am thankful...that my father-in-law and mother-in-law raised such a wonderful son.
From the kitchen...was a salmon casserole.
I am wearing...a feeling of relief.
I am reading...The Oak Leaves by: Maureen Lang
I am remembering...what it felt like to be too hot this summer.
I am going...to enjoy my son being surprised by his grandparents coming to Grandparents Day at school.
I am praying…for a dear friend who has been deeply hurt by her husband and friend.
On my mind…is how much I have to be thankful for.
I am hearing...the whirl of the fan, and my hubby taking a shower.
Around the house...are lots of canning supplies.
Noticing that….it really doesn’t matter what other people think. It only matters what my Lord thinks.
Pondering these words…Christ will make everything right in His time.
One of my favorite things...Asher hollering at Abner from the other room.
A picture thought… My son only wanted a dog for his birthday...he got it. Boy do they love each other!!!
A picture thought… My son only wanted a dog for his birthday...he got it. Boy do they love each other!!!
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