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For those who haven't heard, the Lord blessed us with a beautiful baby boy whom we named Asher. He was born about a month early and had a few lung issues, but only needed to stay in the NICU for a week. He's such a good baby. I never knew babies could be this good. He's such a blessing to my heart. My friend calls him my healing balm...I totally agree.

Have you ever watched a baby stare off into the distance and get a big ole grin on their face? It's the cutest thing. Asher does it quite often. I told my family that he sees the angels around us that we can't see. I sometimes wonder if it's really his big brother Uriah telling him stories of Heaven. I often whisper in Asher's ear to tell Uriah how much I love him and miss him.

Sometimes it's the little things like that that gets me through the tough days. I have to admit the "tough days" or my "Uriah days" are less now that Asher is here, but I still have them. When I look at Asher I don't see Uriah. I see Uriah's little brother. Asher is not a replacement because no one can ever replace another person. Asher has very straight hair compared to Uriah's curls. Asher is much smaller as well. They both have my mouth. They both have my hubby's nose. I wonder if Uriah would have had the shrill screech of a cry that Asher has. That's what I missed the most...Uriah never cried. In fact, while in labor with Asher the goal they wrote on the board for me was "A healthy CRYING baby." I couldn't wait to hear his little cry.

My husband and I have had a difficult time trying to decide what to do to celebrate Uriah's birth each year. Some people have suggested baking a cake, but no one in my house even likes cake. We thought about releasing balloons at his grave site, but now we live so far away we feel that's a bit foolish. So we have decided to write him letters every year. Letters from each of us telling him what we think he must be doing in Heaven, how we imagine he might be had he lived, and what we are doing in our lives now.

I wonder what will ever become of this book. I wonder how many generations will keep it up. Will my great grandchildren even know about Uriah? I hope that because of the book they WILL know him.

Happy birthday my precious son. I love you more than words can say. I miss you so much that it hurts. I cannot wait to see you and hold you and kiss you! I'm sure this past year has been truly awesome for you. You are with so many people that we love, but the most awesome part is being with our Savior. I wonder how often He has let you catch glimpses of us. Did you know Grandpa had a heart attack? Did you know we moved? We got a dog. Abner is doing great in school and with his guitar. Phebe is so beautiful and doing great on finishing up her schooling. Asher got your nickname as his middle name. Daddy did a wonderful job fixing up Asher's room. Uriah, enjoy every moment and listen to all the wisdom from all those around you. I'll be there before you know it, and we will spend eternity together.

I love you little Oliver. Happy birthday!


Anonymous said...

Forever remembered. Forever loved.

Patricia said...

Tears of sorrow and of joy! Beautiful, Hannah!

Debra said...

Congratulations Hannah on your sweet Asher.

Remembering Uriah with you. His life is precious and he lived his brief life with purpose. He did it just right, he did all the Lord wanted him to do.

Kisses to Asher.