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It frustrates me to no end how food comforts me so. I could write a series of books on why I love to eat. I hate to admit that food is my addiction. I could go on forever about what I love about eating...the texture of the food in my mouth...the feeling of it as I swallow...the different spots on my tongue that are satisfied with different flavors...the smell of the food before I take a bite. Yep, I have a problem!!! Eating for me, is hardly ever about being hungry, but about the pleasure it brings.

So some friends of mine started the HCG diet and I have watched the weight fall off of them. I figured if they could do it so could I. This diet lasts 40 days and you are suppose to be able to lose a pound a day. Yep, I would love to drop 40 pounds...not many people wouldn't. The question is, can I do it??? Can I stick to the strictness of the diet? I'm only allowed 500 calories a day. Good grief...I probably ate that at each meal pre-diet.

Yesterday I ate 520 calories. By late evening I wanted food and I wanted it now. My hubby got home from work and fixed himself something to eat...bacon, french toast, tators. I thought I would lose my mind. The piece of fish and 1/2 cup of green beans I had eaten many hours before were but a faint memory. I went and took a hot bath to distract myself. It worked. :o)

I'm suppose to weigh myself every morning. I prayed I lost my 1 pound for the first day. I was so scared to stand on that scale. I almost chickened out. What if I had gained. You may laugh, but a few weeks ago I worked so hard one week to lose a couple of pounds. I watched my calories and moved more, and thought for sure I had lost something. When I stood on the scale, at the end of the week, I had gained 4 pounds. I was so depressed. So this morning all those fears came rushing back. Would I gain, would I stay the same???

I LOST 4 POUNDS!!!! What in the world??? Totally happy!!! Then the realization that I probably won't lose anything for the next few days, since I'm only supposed to lose a pound a day. Oh well, that 4 pound loss felt pretty good. I have to admit it didn't feel as good as I imagined some of my favorite foods would have tasted. ;O)

Outside my windowis the beautiful sunshine and warmer weather. Spring can't get here soon enough.

I am thinking...I should have taken my OPC's while I was gone last week. I'm having way too much pain as a result of forgetting them.

I am thankful for...Phebe being home. The family seems complete again.

From the kitchen...will be Chili and cornbread per Phebe's request. Today is her adoption birthday so she gets to chose.

I am wearing...a feeling of distraction.

I am remembering... how it felt to sleep 8 hours straight.

I am going...to get groceries and maybe just maybe a few clothing items. Since having the baby NOTHING fits!

I am reading...Speak Up With Confidence by Carol Kent.

I am prayingfor a part-time job.

On my mindis the dust that never stops accumulating in my house.

I am hearing...the sound machine through the baby monitor from Asher's room. It's playing the sound of the ocean. I'm also hearing Abner practice his guitar and Phebe singing along.

Around the house...is a need for a good spring cleaning.

Noticing thatmy family loves me even when I'm difficult to love.

Pondering these words…of Carol Kent encouraging me to take a seminar on speaking in public. I feel the Lord has so much He wants me to share with others. I'm just not sure how to do it.

One of my favorite things...is Asher's giggle.

A picture thought I can't believe it's been 17 years since Phebe became my little girl. She's been my sunshine ever since.

Outside my window…the beautiful sunshine is glistening off of the freshly fallen snow.

I am thinking...of spring.
I am thankful for...our new home.

From the kitchen...will be Split Pea Soup, but considering copying my mother-in-law and making Spicy Cheeseburger Soup.

I am wearing...many layers of emotions.

I am remembering...playing in the snow as a child. Flossie and I would attempt to build forts, but they never worked. We always slept better after those snow fort building days.

I am going...to stay home and attempt to stay warm.

I am reading...Overcoming Depression, by Neil and JoAnne Anderson.

I am praying…for my children, and wisdom in raising them.

On my mind…a list of things I need to get done. Actually "want" to get done.

I am hearing...the sound machine through the baby monitor from Asher's room. It's playing the sound he heard in the womb. It's becoming very annoying. :o) He seems to enjoy it though. I'm also hearing Abner practice his guitar.

Around the house...there are no more signs of Christmas decorations, but empty spots waiting for Valentines decor.

Noticing that…my family's mood always reflects mine.

Pondering these words…
"A GOOD name is rather to be chosen than great riches, and loving favour rather than silver and gold." Proverbs 22:1

One of my favorite things...is to be home alone.

A picture thought… Missing my mom today, and loving that my baby boy looks a little bit like me. He's the first person I've ever been able to say that about.