Simple Woman's Daybook 5-23-11

Outside my window…is the dark of night and the chirp of crickets.

I am thinking…how amazingly fast the last 18 years have gone.

I am thankful...that the Lord allowed me to adopt such a wonderful daughter.

From the kitchen...was pork chops, mashed potatoes, green beans, and crescent rolls.

I am wearing...His peace.

I am remembering...how small and helpless Phebe looked the first time I laid eyes on her.

I am going...to celebrate my daughter turning 18.

I am reading…Please Stop Laughing at Me... by Jodee Blanco, and hopefully doing a book review soon.

I am praying…for healing.

On my mind…is the feeling of dread as I realize I must teach my sweet daughter how to read and write again. I already taught her 12 years ago, but we must plunge forward and do it again.

I am hearing...the swirl of the fan, my hubby taking a shower, and my bed calling my name.

Around the house...are gifts hidden away for Phebe. :o)

Noticing that….I need to get things done now. I am recalling things I said I was going to do when I adopted Phebe, and here we are 18 years later. Wow!

Pondering these words…Ma…ma…ma….mom wh….wh…wh…wha…wha…what’s th…th…th…this…l…l…le…le…le…let…letter?

One of my favorite things...is hearing Phebe laugh.

A picture thought…my baby girl.

God's love amazes me!

Romans 8:38&39
38For I am persuaded, that neither death, nor life, nor angels, nor principalities, nor powers, nor things present, nor things to come,
39Nor height, nor depth, nor any other creature, shall be able to separate us from the love of God, which is in Christ Jesus our Lord.

I have been struggling lately with understanding God’s love. I always want to compare how I love MY children to how He loves His children. There really is no comparison.

I’ve been enjoying watching my 6 month old learn new things. He’s learned to fake cough, roll from tummy to back, jibber-jabber to get our attention, and cry his head off to get his way. Asher rolled over for the first time tonight from his back to his stomach. It was quite a shock to me. I had left him on my bed to go get some Desitin for his little red bottom. We have been trying to get him to roll from back to tummy for quite some time, but he has not been interested at all. As I started to walk back into the room, with the Desitin, I saw he was on his stomach. I was so excited I gasped. He heard me and tried to roll to see me. This caused him to roll off of the bed. I ran and caught him mid-air. My heart was going pretty fast at this point and I was feeling like a pretty worthless parent.

Asher feeling all proud of himself for getting someone else to love him to pieces...his Grandma Olson.

I began to think about my heavenly Father. Does He smile as we learn new things? When Asher had tried in the past to roll I was always tempted to help him out just a little bit. Does God want to give us a bit of a nudge when we struggle along the way?

Do the things we say and do cause Him to chuckle? I believe God has a sense of humor. Tonight in family devotions we asked the kids for examples of His sense of humor. Of course tooting was mentioned.

When Asher coos and jabbers at me as if to tell me a story it just thrills my heart. I want him to never stop. Is this How God feels when I pray to Him?

Asher sharing stories with Aunt Mercy.

When Asher does something amazing like … blink … it causes his siblings to cheer him on to do it again. I wonder if this is how God feels when we share with others His amazing gifts of love, grace, and salvation.

Asher amazing his Uncle Stephen with his grabbing abilities.

My 17 year old daughter has to learn to talk and read again. Today as she learned that C-A-T spelled cat her eyes widened and she smiled. My heart leapt for joy. Is this how the Lord feels when we learn a new truth from His Word?

My 11 year old son bought me a very unique Mother’s Day gift. He and his dad went to a rock show at our local fair grounds. He knows how much I love the color yellow and he found a sparkly rock with a hand-crafted yellow rose in the center. It totally made my day. I smile every time I see it. Is this how God feels when we give above and beyond at our local church?

I can’t compare my love with His. I wish I could better understand how He loves me so. How He enjoys hearing me talk to Him. I love Him with all of my heart and I’m so thankful that NOTHING can separate me from His everlasting, unconditional, amazing, and perfect love. My hope is that others will see His love in my life and desire to have that same love.

God is good

God is good…all the time!

Whenever I say "God is good" and someone then replies "all the time" I feel so guilty. I always feel like they think I forgot that He's good all the time. I have noticed lately that people don't say "God is good" when they are going through trials. It's not usually until the trial is over and they can see how God intervened that they seem to then notice His goodness. By the way, when I say "they" I mean "me".

The last six weeks have been probably the hardest six weeks of my life…ever. Maybe I feel this way because I'm still in the midst of a trial, but I don't think so. It all started with my broken ankle. After falling down the steps and looking at my foot, which was now pointed at 3 O'clock, I instantly started to chew God out. "Lord, you know I have too much going on in my life to not be able to walk. What in the world are you thinking?!?!?" If I knew at that point what else would happen in the next few weeks I would have thought the ankle thing was no big deal.

A week later my husband and I were attempting to help our daughter get some much needed sleep. She has had problems sleeping for years. She would get around 2-3 hours of sleep a night. So my hubby took her to the doctor and he prescribed some medications she had used before that worked. Within 3 days she was showing some very strange symptoms. She stuttered severely, shook all the time, had mouth ticks, dropped almost everything she picked up, and fell A LOT. So we immediately stopped the meds. A week later, after a visit to the ER and another visit to the doctor, she could no longer talk but for a few words, she couldn't read or write, and fell down the steps numerous times. Her sleep was even less. She was terrified of everything at night. My hubby had to start sleeping downstairs on the couch for her to feel safe.

Two more visits to the ER and a eight day stay in the hospital (without the doctors really figuring anything out) and here we are a month later. All the symptoms are the same. She also is dealing with the flu and some sort of staph infection that is spreading across her body. She is in immense pain. The wonderful thing about Phebe is she never complains. I keep telling her if it was me I would be curled up in a ball in the corner crying and no one would be able to console me. She's now too sick to help around the house, but everyday with tears in her eyes she asks, through her own sign language, if there's anything she can do to help. One of the hardest things in life is watching your child suffer. I pushed aside the thought that God had to watch His son suffer on the cross for MY sin.

Last week I was getting so upset with the Lord for allowing all this garbage in our lives. My hubby works two jobs so he's gone all evening a few nights a week. Phebe, of course, can't hold babies and I can't walk so that leaves Abner to take care of our 5 month old along with a 6 month old that I watch 2 days a week. I could not do it without Abner. The great thing about him is he makes everything fun. The babies adore him and brighten the second he walks into the room. Instead of being thankful for my son and being thankful that my husband works from home during the day and being thankful that my arm wasn't broke so I can at least fix meals and hold the babies I grumbled.

Sunday was Easter Sunday and the choir sang a new song I had never heard before called, "Settled at the Cross". Boy, did that song open my eyes.

"So if you never speak another word of blessing,
And the silence leaves me with a sense of loss.
I'll remember if my heart begins to question
Any doubt that you love me was settled at the cross."

I realized after hearing this song that I had been thinking and believing that I was entitled to some sort of blessing from the Lord. I had forgotten that I am already blessed beyond measure. I get to spend eternity with Christ and my hubby and my children in a perfect Heaven because of God's goodness.

Trials are not very joyous, but I have learned in the last 6 weeks that God is good…ALL THE TIME! May He forgive me for taking his goodness for granted, and may someone see His goodness in how we (I mean "I") respond to trials.

Simple Woman's Daybook 4-4-11

Outside my window…the sun has set and the moon is trying to show itself through the clouds.

I am thinking…it’s amazing how God has blessed me with such amazing friends.

I am thankful...that even though we go through difficult times we are always in the center of God’s unfailing love. I'm also thankful for my friend's daughter who is coming tomorrow to stay for the week to help us out.

From the kitchen...was a wonderful meal prepared by the one and only Abner Snyder…corndogs and french fries. Delish. ;O)

I am wearing...a walking cast even though I’m still not able to bear weight on my ankle for at least 4 more weeks.

I am remembering...how I once took for granted the full range of motion in my ankles. However, I no longer take that for granted.

I am going...to yet another doctor’s appointment tomorrow. This time it’s for one of the kidlets though.

I am reading…or attempting to read...my daughter’s mind.

I am praying…for wisdom and right choices.

On my mind…sufferings of family members.

I am hearing...Phebe get a snack from the kitchen, Abner talking to Asher and acting quite silly to boot, the hum of my laptop, and the tick-tock of the clock.

Around the house...there is no evidence at all that I did spring cleaning just a few weeks ago.

Noticing that….people love to help, but I hate asking for it.

Pondering these words…Babe, I love you! I sure love my hubby!!!!

One of my favorite things...is seeing my children helping each other and making each other laugh.

A picture thought…me and the Phebster playing with babies.

Book Review: Lilly's Wedding Quilt By Kelly Long

Lilly’s Wedding Quilt is a compelling love story. This story is not only love portrayed between a man and a woman, but a family as well. It was interesting to see how the author weaved in the relationship of the family and how it requires hard work and loyalty to make it run smoothly.

The book grabs your attention right away with one character receiving unwarranted blame. It was a page turner right from page one. It’s an easy read that doesn’t have too many characters to confuse you. I didn’t want to put it down as I needed to see what was going to happen next. I couldn’t wait to see how God would fulfill the desires of the characters' hearts.

I enjoyed getting wrapped up in Lilly’s mind and emotions as she was so involved with her students and their everyday life. She taught with such passion and conviction, and desired her students to fulfill their dreams. Lilly also had dreams she wanted to fulfill, but had given up hope that any of them would come true.

It was made clear that God will grant the desires of our hearts, but sometimes we aren’t clear ourselves as to what those desires might be.

I received a copy of Lilly's Wedding Quilt from Booksneeze.com

The Simple Woman's Daybook March 28,2011

Outside my window…the sun is shining bright, but it’s still very very chilly!

I am thinking…it’s nice to be able to relax a bit while mom is here to help.

I am thankful...for my church. They have been such a great help with bringing meals and offering to clean my house. Even my bathrooms!!!

From the kitchen...will be another meal from church. All the meals have been yummy to the tummy!

I am wearing...pajamas AGAIN. I wonder if I’ll ever wear real clothes again.

I am remembering...how sweet it was of my neighbor to come over and cut open my cast. The swelling had gotten worse and the doctor suggested we cut it. It felt sooooo much better. She was my favorite person that day. :o)

I am going...to my follow-up appointment this week to check out the progress of my ankle.

I am reading…Mistaken Identity by Don & Sue Van Ryn and Newell, Colleen & Whitney Cerak.

I am praying…that dad can handle being without mom this week. :o)

On my mind…is making sure Phebe has fun, and doesn’t feel like she has to do EVERYTHING around the house.

I am hearing...the fire crackle, Jesse’s training course, Abner’s school pages turning, and my mom rocking in the chair as she reads.

Around the house...babies, family, lots of food, pain pills, and dreams of spring.

Noticing that….my ankle is hurting less.

Pondering these words…

Romans 12:12-14

12Rejoicing in hope; patient in tribulation; continuing instant in prayer; 13Distributing to the necessity of saints; given to hospitality.

One of my favorite things...is finishing the school day.

A picture thought…My wonderful mom helping with the babies.

HCG diet week 5

I broke my ankle Sunday morning and thought for sure it wouldn't be an issue continuing with the diet. I figured there would be no way to cheat since I couldn't get to the kitchen. Since I've been home I've realized that it's hard enough on my family to take care of EVERYTHING. I can't very well ask them to fix separate meals just for me. Besides, I need to be eating plenty of foods with calcium and protein.

So my plan is to stop for now, keep the 16 pounds off, and as soon as I'm healed start up again.

I refuse to get upset about this. I'm so thankful I only broke my ankle...it could have been so much worse. In a year's time these few weeks will seem like a blink of the eye.